🌷When others believe in you…. but you don’t🥀

Love, today I need to talk to you about a super-important almost cliché topic :: ✨believing in yourself.✨

It’s something that used to be so so foreign to me. Self-trust was almost inexistent. Yet over the years it turned out be one of the key factors to having dreams fulfilled left-n-right.

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That was this one time my boss believed in me more than I did.

There was this other time when an almost stranger was puzzled at the fact that *I* didn’t think I’d ever be able to live in a foreign country.

Those moments {seeing their puzzled faces on my lack of self-trust} were small moments, quick moments, supposedly not a big-deal-kind of moments that had a huge impact on me. {They happened YEARS ago and I still remember them both, clear as day}.

I grew up hearing {and believing what I was told} that all those good stuff out there were possible – for others, not me.

So the truly and sincere face of “I don’t see why not” that my boss gave me when I brush off the idea that I could ever be accepted to an MBA program, got seriously imprinted in me.

He kept asking me “but why not?” and I kept giggling and looking around  uncomfortably, not sure why he was asking me that {wasn’t it obvious I couldn’t?} and looking at me attentively.

I could *feel* his puzzled look at me as I was moving around in my chair.

That idea was too much.  ME? Learning about business,  understanding business….. having…. a…. business….?

Unthinkable. A joke even.

That day, his question, his truly intrigued stare,  stuck with me.

“Why not me?”

“why-not-me?”

I couldn’t even answer that for myself.

I was conditioned to believe that certain things were off limits to me. They couldn’t be related to me.

I saw business as something so separate from me that I could just wish…. or better yet, not even wish, because I never even allowed myself to say out loud to me and only me that understanding and running a business was something I dearly and very very secretly wanted to do.

…. ‘lil old hippy-hearted me?…. too-spiritual me?…..too-airy me?…. too-artsy me?….

What am I thinking?

Later in that same year I went to an event where the speaker {that I unfortunately can not for the love of the unicorns remember the name}  was telling us about her story and how she was committed to always going for her dreams. Wherever it took, wherever TIME it would take for them to be fulfilled…. and she said something along those lines:

“If you think 2-3 yrs is too much to go for that degree and it is going to take too long to complete it and that you are too old for that now…. guess what? 2-3 yrs will pass anyway and you’ll be older anyway. Do you want to be the exact same person you are right now or a person with that degree completed?”

I froze in my chair.

#perspective

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Fast forward a fews months and I was starting my MBA program. 

At the school I wanted.

I still remember the moment I got to know I was accepted. I was {oddly} early for a dinner date with friends and right when I saw one of them walking into the restaurant is when I looked at my phone and saw the note. I almost squeezed her eyes out with my hug.

From there?

Six months later I started a blog {you might have heard of it? 😀 🍋}, and one of the classes I enrolled was about entrepreneurship and online businesses. In it the teacher was kind of counterproductive….

He’d show us how and why we actually didn’t need that degree to have a business. Even thou we all knew it, he was a tad extra-enthusiastic about the fact that we could go out there and start now.

And that again, stuck with me.

Later on, in the summer of that same year while on a break from “regular” classes, I enrolled for the first time in an online class NOT taught through a University program.

It was the oddest yet most intriguing thing ever. A woman out of nowhere was creating ONLINE COURSES all by herself? And SHE was teaching said courses ALL BY HERSELF as well? Teaching about business and art and spirituality…. How was that even possible? What juicy world is this that I’ve never heard of?

I joined that online class and many more after that.

Combine those two happenings and light bulbs were popping out in my head like crazy.

That dream of mine that I was not even sure I could say out loud?

It started taking a whole new shape and took a different direction that I didn’t see coming.

Years later when my accountant said happily and enthusiastically “girl, you are making a lot of money now. You NEED to incorporate otherwise your taxes are gonna be insane next year”

that moment was….

how can I say?….

DELICIOUS! 🤩

Me? ‘lil old me? Owning a company? Get out of here! 😄

If I could tell my 8-years-ago-self that that tingling would lead me to the life I have right now – having my own company while waking up every morning when my eyes open and wearing fluffy flip-flops all day long – I’d just smile and say…. “You cute! but nah, that’s not possible for me!”

That itty bitty of a faint desire which I never even dared to voice it, that my former boss pulled it out of me in the most sweet way ever….that desire that once voiced and fully seen turned out to have been a long almost forgotten dream…. and that dream that once nurtured, respected, and cared for, started developing into being a reality in my life beyond my wildest imagination!

All because I stayed curious and open.

ALL BECAUSE I DARED TO LISTEN AND GIVE ATTENTION TO THOSE TINY EXCITEMENTS INSIDE THAT WANTED TO BE HEARD, EXPRESSED AND SEEN.

Have I never followed that inner tingling, or have I kept THINKING that based on other people’s reality, business didn’t “fit” ME, I’d never would be experiencing business in the perfect way that is meant for me to experience it.

And with this my love, I want to tell you that for realz……

Any tiny little excitement you feel inside, you MUST give your attention to it.

IT IS A PART OF YOU THAT WANTS TO BE EXPRESSED, MANIFESTED, EXPERIENCED.

Please don’t let it sit there for years more to come. Don’t dismiss it.

As Wayne Dyer said “Don’t die with the music still in you”

We all have that music inside with many many songs within… each of those songs unique to us, because they’re OUR songs to be sung.

Don’t let it die, love. Don’t give up.

If you need help and support, as you navigate through expressing those desires of yours and walking the steps towards fulfilling your dreams, I am here for you!

Plot Twist Series, just opened up again and we are starting July 1st!

It is time, love. Your dreams are meant for you. 

Many Smooches,